I'm usually polite with telemarketers. I have caller ID, so if I know ahead of time that a telemarketer is calling I simply don't answer the phone. No law says you have to answer a ringing telephone. If I get caught by surprise and end up talking to a telemarketer, I usually politely excuse myself, sometimes politely saying, "I'm going to hang up on you now."
But a couple of days ago I got a call that I welcomed if only for the opportunity to vent. And vent I did, quite vociferously. The call was from SiriusXM, the satellite radio company, and I knew that by looking at caller ID. I bought a new car last year and it came with a one-year subscription to the service. Nice, but I thought it probably wasn't worth renewing the subscription. I have other alternatives for electronic music in that car. I knew this call was coming, so I was ready for it.
"Good evening, are you Willieyum Don-yall (William Daniel with an Indian accent)?"
I learned a long time ago to never use the word "yes" to a telemarketer. The recording of your voice saying that word can get unscrupulously edited into an answer you did not wish to give a yes to: "Can we sign you up for this $5 million life insurance policy?" followed by your voice saying "yes." It has happened, so I never say yes to anything a telemarketer asks me. "Lovely day today, isn't it sir?"
So, I immediately took the offensive with this guy without acknowledging that I was Willieyum Don-yall. "Who are you and why are you bugging me? I know damn well that my subscription will expire soon and I have no intention to renew. I got about 12 letters from you begging me to renew, and threw them all in the trash."
"But, but ..."
"And furthermore, SiriusXM is supposed to be advertising-free radio, but you guys have been breaking into my Spa channel (relaxing, trance-inducing elevator music) to tell me my subscription is about to expire, which because I'm not stupid, I already know."
"But, but ..."
"So, I'm glad you called so I have this opportunity to yell at someone over this. You can bet your ass I'm not going to renew my subscription. Anything else you want to discuss?"
"Um, Mister Don-yall, I am so sorry. I was told they don't do that. I will tell my superiors and take you off of our call list. Have a nice day."
I'm not suggesting you deal with all telemarketers in this way, but I was waiting for this day, and it felt good. How do you handle telemarketers?
By the way, isn't anyone serious anymore? I have Sirius radio and software from a company called Cerious. I'm tired of all this cutesy manufactured spelling. It's becoming epidemic in the music industry, but that's a subject for another blog post.
Thanks for reading.
© 2014 Will Daniel