January 28, 2014

Venting at a telemarketer

I'm usually polite with telemarketers. I have caller ID, so if I know ahead of time that a telemarketer is calling I simply don't answer the phone. No law says you have to answer a ringing telephone. If I get caught by surprise and end up talking to a telemarketer, I usually politely excuse myself, sometimes politely saying, "I'm going to hang up on you now."

But a couple of days ago I got a call that I welcomed if only for the opportunity to vent. And vent I did, quite vociferously. The call was from SiriusXM, the satellite radio company, and I knew that by looking at caller ID. I bought a new car last year and it came with a one-year subscription to the service. Nice, but I thought it probably wasn't worth renewing the subscription. I have other alternatives for electronic music in that car. I knew this call was coming, so I was ready for it.

"Good evening, are you Willieyum Don-yall (William Daniel with an Indian accent)?"

I learned a long time ago to never use the word "yes" to a telemarketer. The recording of your voice saying that word can get unscrupulously edited into an answer you did not wish to give a yes to: "Can we sign you up for this $5 million life insurance policy?" followed by your voice saying "yes." It has happened, so I never say yes to anything a telemarketer asks me. "Lovely day today, isn't it sir?"


So, I immediately took the offensive with this guy without acknowledging that I was Willieyum Don-yall. "Who are you and why are you bugging me? I know damn well that my subscription will expire soon and I have no intention to renew. I got about 12 letters from you begging me to renew, and threw them all in the trash."

"But, but ..."

"And furthermore, SiriusXM is supposed to be advertising-free radio, but you guys have been breaking into my Spa channel (relaxing, trance-inducing elevator music) to tell me my subscription is about to expire, which because I'm not stupid, I already know."

"But, but ..."

"So, I'm glad you called so I have this opportunity to yell at someone over this. You can bet your ass I'm not going to renew my subscription. Anything else you want to discuss?"

"Um, Mister Don-yall, I am so sorry. I was told they don't do that. I will tell my superiors and take you off of our call list. Have a nice day."

I'm not suggesting you deal with all telemarketers in this way, but I was waiting for this day, and it felt good. How do you handle telemarketers?

By the way, isn't anyone serious anymore? I have Sirius radio and software from a company called Cerious. I'm tired of all this cutesy manufactured spelling. It's becoming epidemic in the music industry, but that's a subject for another blog post.

Thanks for reading.

© 2014 Will Daniel


  1. I usually let them go to voicemail, too, and there's only a message if it's from energy companies. I have answered some by accident, but said, "No, sorry, you have the wrong number." *click* I've often thought though that maybe I should have more fun and answer in another accent, too. I tried blocking numbers through AT&T, but I can only have 20 telephone numbers and it has maxed. Hey, at least you got to vent! I didn't realize about saying "yes" and them recording it. That's a great tip to remember.

  2. G'day there Will, I had the same thing happen to me. You see, I have the same name as you ( William Daniel). I had one of these people ring me with an Indian accent saying Willieyum Don-yall or close to it. Maybe we got the same guy. Cheers mate.. Will Daniel

  3. Will, you made my day. Thanks for commenting.


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